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10th-Jun-2016 08:44 pm
Now & Then
It appears I don't know how to be in fandom any more. It's discombobulating.
Comments 
10th-Jun-2016 12:46 pm (UTC)
Stay away from Twitter. I think it drives everyone batshit.
10th-Jun-2016 12:54 pm (UTC)
Yep. Thats' the one. I'm about to delete the apps from my devises (and maybe even my account). It's the worse. :/
10th-Jun-2016 12:49 pm (UTC)
Oh and read the ameliacareful fic rec I posted. That will make you feel better. (Kinda. It's frigging SAD).

PS don't suppose you feel like Gishing this year?
10th-Jun-2016 12:58 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I'm not able to read/see/watch anything SPN at the moment. :(

(but I'm hoping to regain some levity soon and be able to read codas etc soon -ish).

And no. No Gishing for me this year. I have no idea how you guys stay invigorated! But good luck! I'll be cheerleading for you all. <3
10th-Jun-2016 01:31 pm (UTC)
I'm such a wimp when it comes to twitter. I don't read anything over there and don't even really know how to post a tweet. Twitter keeps sending me email about learning the basics. It seems like really exciting fandom things are reposted over here by somebody and the wank stays there.

Tumblr is something I just look at mostly for the pretty now. I don't even follow that many SPN blogs. A lot of SPN fans there have moved on to other things so it's a weird combo of cats and fandoms I've never heard of along with the space blogs.

I'm still half a season behind in watching the show and I don't feel any urgent need to catch up. I think I'm kind of at peace with that. It's still really cool to see familiar faces pop in here. Hope the rest of your life is going good.
10th-Jun-2016 01:43 pm (UTC)
Hee. It's good to be a twitter wimp! :) I've enjoyed it at times but it can be addictive and before you know it you're sucked into the tabloid feel of it all. And people communicate very differently there. It's almost like you're not a person. I've discovered I don't have the tenacity for it.

I haven't been on tumblr for ages, but yes. It has a lot of pretty stuff and people make some amazing graphics. I once thought it would be a good place for me, but discovered it's quite impersonal.

And er, possibly no need to be in a hurry to watch the end of SPN. I dunno. Red Meat is certainly worth a watch. The last 4 eps have possibly been the reason for wanting to just run away from it all.

The rest of my life is pretty good! :) Just started acting in a show so I'm well distracted with that. Especially as I have a lot of lines to learn. *meep*

*hugs* It's the familiar faces on LJ that make it hard to leave fandom all together.
10th-Jun-2016 01:34 pm (UTC)
I have days when I feel like that. Try not to let it get you down, hun. *HUGS*
10th-Jun-2016 01:43 pm (UTC)
Thanks hun. Trying not to..;) <3
10th-Jun-2016 01:43 pm (UTC)
*clings to you and hugs*
10th-Jun-2016 01:57 pm (UTC)
Thanks hun. <3

You managed to step back from it all. Was it hard? As in emotionally hard? You had other fandoms though so maybe that helped? I feel like I've been grieving for the past month (maybe even longer). It sucks.

10th-Jun-2016 01:55 pm (UTC)
Reading comments, it seems that twitter is helping provoke this? For the gems that are tweeted, the dross level is high :-/ I usually just wait for pertinent tweets to be posted on all-spn, or a friend alert me. It's a little numbing otherwise.

Perhaps some nice AU big bangs will help :-) or re-visit old favorites.

ETA: I didn't know you acted! Very cool! I think about community theater - I did a show a couple of years back, but nw my work schedule is 4 nights a week (thats when the dojo is open) and that's hard to work rehearsals around. Go you!!

Edited at 2016-06-10 01:57 pm (UTC)
10th-Jun-2016 02:04 pm (UTC)
Hi. Twitter is definitely part of it (I can't tweet anymore - which is probably a good thing.*g*)

And big bangs are a good idea. :)

I didn't know you acted!

Hehe, yes. It's been a love of mine since forever (well, since I can remember). I haven't done anything for a while because of the same reasons as you. It's so time consuming. But with my waning interest in fandom I thought it would be good to get involved again. It's been fun so far. :)
10th-Jun-2016 02:56 pm (UTC)
I thought you enjoyed the finale more than most of the later episodes, so was a little surprised to see this. I see you say above it's the fandom more than the show you need a break from, though. It's good you have other things to occupy you for now!
11th-Jun-2016 12:41 pm (UTC)
I did seem to enjoy the last ep more than many (though I suppose "enjoy" might not be the right word. I really didn't like the last 4 part finale at all). But I've seen so much negativity about it it's rubbed off I think. I can barely look at SPN stuff and not be either sad or cross. All a wee bit melodramatic I suppose - hence the need for some time away.

And I have lots to keep me busy. Actually, I've just finished making a vid for school - so it was nice to use stuff I've learned in fandom. :)
10th-Jun-2016 03:05 pm (UTC)
*sending you hugs*

Fandom can be incredibly exhausting. We had a discussion about that at the spn_bunker shortly after the finale, and it turns out that pretty much everyone talks about the show in private these days, because the general wank and negativity are too draining to deal with all the time.
11th-Jun-2016 12:48 pm (UTC)
We had a discussion about that at the spn_bunker shortly after the finale,

Ooh, that would have been interesting. And I think you're right.about talking being done in private. I think it's hard to discuss the show - particularly on Twitter - when there's so many different views (though certainly not impossible).

It IS draining and I admire people who can stick with it and not get burnt out.
10th-Jun-2016 03:21 pm (UTC)
I haven't participated in SPN fandom for some time now, nor any other fandom since, due to either spoiler delays or time issues. However I've been reading loads of Avengers fics and have been fannish about it.

I've also been getting into the swing of checking Tumblr lately and noticed threads of contention regarding the latest film that have kicked into high gear. And I was just thinking "Nope, nope, nope...I want none of that."
11th-Jun-2016 12:54 pm (UTC)
I keep thinking I might get into other fandoms but even when I adore a show I can't get into the fannish side of things.

I'm looking forward to the new Avengers film - still haven't see it! I've heard some good things (but I don't think I'll be fannish about it. But I'll see!)
10th-Jun-2016 09:21 pm (UTC)
I think everything has just become so huge...and rude. I found l/j made fandom 'feel' a safe place, I'm not sure it was if you found yourself on the wrong side of an argument, but it's easy to filter and find like minded people. Tumblr never felt safe, far too easy to preach to the like-minded in a void of opposite opinions, it's pretty, but distancing and closed off. Twitter seems aimed at the sharp teeth of the sharper minds - one I'm certainly not part of.

Although I would say I'm not in fandom any longer as I don't read fic or visit Tumblr where everyone else seems to be and I've never even thought fandom could exist on Twitter (yeah, I have Twitter but I amuse myself following all the police dog handlers - spn talk in 140 characters? Nope), but I still live in hope that fandom is what you make of it and you can still find places that feel like home.

However I think there comes a time where the grind of fandom is just too damned tiring and I reached a level of exhaustion where I just didn't care any longer, about show or fandom and once my attention was diverted just a few degrees it became harder and harder to feel connected to anything. I've changed and fandom has changed and quite honestly, although I miss the people in fandom and I miss the creativity I found in myself - I just haven't been able to find a spark of interest.

I'm still watching the show, I'll always stop by here because I'm interested in hearing what YOU have to say and your posts have always been the one thing that makes me regret what fandom has meant to me, that connection to others and the discussion of opposite thoughts which brought us together, those are the best parts, but after 11 years maybe there's just not much left to say?

((hugs)) I hope you find what you're looking for.
13th-Jun-2016 02:11 pm (UTC)
I think everything has just become so huge...and rude.

Yeah. Especially the rude part.

LJ is still the nicer place - though it's so very quite. I think Twitter is instant and people are drawn to that. I have certainly enjoyed it. There was a time when much of it was joy - but lately it's such a mix of thoughts it's just too hard to know where one fits. It's too difficult to have a proper discussion.

Its the first time since I started vidding (so, back in 2006) that I haven't made a single vid in 6 months. I've tried, but - as you mention - the spark just ins't there. It's got me down, but mainly because I remember how much enjoyment I used to get out of it.

It's doubtful I'll write reaction posts next season, simply because (as you say) there seems little left to say. I feel like the writers don't follow any plan or any rules so it's hardly worth thinking too hard about it all any more.

But, we'll see. A rest might spark an interest again. :)
11th-Jun-2016 02:22 am (UTC)
I feel you so much!! I recently wrote a "break-up" post about SPN. It's gotten to a point where I'm not enjoying it at all. As for the fandom, I haven't experienced most of the wank. I've been blocked by a bunch of people but I think it's more for personal reasons.

Not being interested in a show makes it hard to stay in fandom. My first fandom was "House MD". It was all-consuming, and we didn't have Twitter! When the show was canceled, after a year everyone sort of dribbled away. I miss that so much. I've met and made some RL friends. I hope you've been able to do that with SPN. You were a HUGE help to me during Jared's breakdown.

Twitter can be evil, even if it's not about fandom. I'd find I enjoyed an episode. Then went on twitter and saw people ranting, bitching, etc. which would materially affect how I perceived the episode. I stopped doing that. As someone else said, you have to get through an enormous amount of dross to get to the gold.
15th-Jun-2016 01:38 pm (UTC)
Hey. I didn't realise you'd written a break up post (I confess to not checking my LJ as regularly as I used to). I'm sorry to hear you're feeling the same way. Breaking up isn't fun.


It's so weird. I wrote some positive things about the very last ep - and got a little hammered for that from some fans. Not that I was generally feeling positive about it - in fact, it all left me rather numb. It's made me so sad because I felt like the season had some great moments but it all fell apart spectacularly at the end. The more I think about it, the sadder I get. So, I've decided to just stop thinking about it - and that's working really well so far. :)

I've met and made some RL friends. I hope you've been able to do that with SPN.

I have! I've met some lovely people and I've been able to share my love of the show in person with quite a few people. I will ALWAYS look back on my fandom time with warmth. I got so much out of it and made friends with some wonderful people. It's been an incredible experience. :)

Then went on twitter and saw people ranting, bitching, etc. which would materially affect how I perceived the episode.

Yeah. That's happened to me. OR, I've felt bitter about something in the show (like the hollow return of the amulet) and seen people squee about it and feel either annoyed or disconnected. I've made a pact with myself that next season I am watching the show and just not be involved with fandom (I'm not sure if that will pan out, but it's my current plan *g*).




Edited at 2016-06-15 01:39 pm (UTC)
11th-Jun-2016 02:28 am (UTC)
*hugs* I would miss you desperately if you were no longer on Twitter, but I would also understand. Like dugindeep said, sometimes taking a break or muting can work wonders. I've done both from time to time.
15th-Jun-2016 01:07 pm (UTC)
Hey hun. I think I'm no longer on twitter - for now anyway. I do check my timeline but I just can't bring myself to tweet anything. I have muted some people, but I'm generally disconnected. Even the recent convention couldn't get me excited. :(

Though I do think a break will be good and I am hoping to find some new inspiration after I have some time away. :)

*hugs*
11th-Jun-2016 02:59 am (UTC)
I only interact with fandom via LJ and really haven't had negative experiences.

I do miss your insights and fanworks and I will be hoping you regain a little love for show...or at least some equanimity over the fact that it is not as brilliant as it could be...but it has wonderful moments and Jared and Jensen...
15th-Jun-2016 01:15 pm (UTC)
It does indeed have some wonderful moments and I know I will (hopefully) enjoy those in the next season.

I have to say I've had very few negative experiences on LJ - thankfully (though the one I did have still resonates with me). I've been fortunate enough to engage in some lively discussions without it ever being hurtful. Twitter (and tumblr) aren't so forgiving. I'm enjoying not being there are the moment.

I will wait to see what S12 brings. I am hoping it returns strong, with a clear purpose and ideas and then maybe I'll find myself engaged enough to write up some reaction posts. :)
11th-Jun-2016 09:12 am (UTC)

I've felt like that for a while. What's got your brain in a twist?

11th-Jun-2016 06:24 pm (UTC)
I've heard talk of twitter fandom, but I've never experienced it. I use twitter for family, friends, Ted, news and actors that I follow and that makes me happy :)

I know there's a huge fandom world on tumbler but I refuse to go there because all I see are posts about ships that I absolutely despise and it makes me angry, so for my own sanity, I don't engage.

I was extraordinarily lucky when I was in the Queer As Folk fandom. I came late (right after the series ended), missed almost all of the infighting and wank and was able to find a great group of fans that I clicked with and had nothing but love for the show. We also moved to IJ and created a little QaF world for ourselves over there and that seemed to make a difference.

I'm sorry you're unhappy in fandom. I faithfully read every one of your show commentaries, even when I when I don't always agree with them, I truly appreciate your insightfulness and the depth of knowledge that you have concerning the show. I always feel that I learn more about the show because of your journal and your posts.

Hopefully, you can find a happy medium with fandom. I imagine you would be greatly missed.

Edited at 2016-06-11 06:25 pm (UTC)
15th-Jun-2016 01:50 pm (UTC)
I've heard talk of twitter fandom, but I've never experienced it.

It's pretty active. And vocal. Passionate and it can be fun. But it's volatile because of the nature of twitter.

It's great to hear you were part of happy fandom world. I've mostly felt that on LJ with SPN. From the hey day when it was a very lively place to now - where it's a bit of a ghost town. It's nearly always been a cosy, easy going place. I know that if the show was still engaging me, LJ would still be my fandom home. :)

I truly appreciate your insightfulness and the depth of knowledge that you have concerning the show.

Thank you so much. <3 I have loved being able to discuss the show and engage in some thoughtful discussions. It's been a huge amount of fun and a part of fandom I have truly loved.

I do hope to find the love again. I know I will still watch the show, just not sure what my involvement in fandom will be.

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