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curled around these images
just enough to make us dangerous
*sheepish wave* (and a short 12.09 reaction) 
28th-Jan-2017 08:01 pm
Ain't heavy
Hey guys! There's no doubt I'm a pretty bad fan these days. I rarely check LJ, I'm not really doing anything fannish and most of my stuff on Twitter is politically based. I only made one vid last year and I think that will be one more than I'll make this year. I still love the show but the drive to create or even participate is fading. I do look back at my time in fandom with a huge amount of fondness. What an amazing 10 years it's been. :)

I'm not sure how much longer I will post a reaction to episodes. I think it will mostly depend on how the episodes grab me. I am hesitant to be too negative (there's just too much to feel negative about in the real world at the moment) and I also feel writing any meta is challenging - I've lost the belief that things from one episode are connected to any other (in terms of character development etc), but I think some writers still do a great job within an episode.

Having said all that, I do have some things to say about 12.09. :)



I thought this was a solid, entertaining episode. I absolutely loved the boys - how fabulous (and refreshing) to see them being such competent hunters. I think my favourite thing this season has been seeing them work together so seamlessly. There's no antagonism between them - they just get on like best friends and brothers *happy sigh*. And damn, they looked amazing.

I loved Dean SO much in this episode. He was stoic and strong. He was a real leader and displayed confidence. Sam, at times, seemed unsure and I loved the way Dean's demeanour helped him stay strong. They were a great team - few words passed between them, but they had an inner understanding of each other.

I didn't think I was going to enjoy the Cas and Mary partnership as much as I did. I mostly loved that they called each other out on their mistakes - Cas leaving them behind and Mary not being around.

In fact, I really love what they're doing with Mary. She's not the prefect mother. She's flawed - just like Sam, Dean and John. It's what makes these characters so interesting and compelling. It makes sense to me that Mary is confused and unsure. The only thing she really knows how to do is hunt - not be a mother to her grown up sons. It's a fascinating study (and looks deeper as what it means to always feel like you're not good enough as a mother).

Even Cas was more interesting to me. I think, for the first time, I really did understand his connection to Sam and Dean. It's extremely personal and I like that we're getting to see that. Cas so often seems to do the "wrong" thing and I'd like to think we're getting a deeper look into that.

The BMoL are quite intriguing as the "big bad". They really are morally corrupt people and with the way the world seems to be going (oops, sorry to bring in politics) it's very topical. They are presented as people (white men no less) who feel they are above every one else and so what ever they do is for "the good". I would love to see this followed up as the season progresses.

I totally believed Mary was going to kill herself to save her boys (because I think this is probably how she'll be killed off when they do it) so it's only looking back that I can appreciate my relief that she didn't die overshadowed the fact that they killed Billie. I LOVED BILLIE! Though I actually think she'll be back - along with Death (as least I hope so).

My only *head scratches* were how easily Sam and Dean got away from the facility. I figure that no one ever gets out of the cells so the exterior isn't patrolled like a prison would be?

Also - they told the boys they would be left in the dark. That freaked me out when I heard that - but it turns out there was light. I thought total darkness would be a horrible torture. I totally felt that Dean would go crazy without that human contact though.


Overall a solid, well-balanced, entertaining episode. :)
Comments 
28th-Jan-2017 12:09 pm (UTC)
I *just* this second finished watching the episode, and everything you said here rings very true for me too. The sense of understanding between the boys is finally coming to the fore. No back biting or bitching overshadowing what is and can be a very effective, extremely clever team of Hunters.

Mary and Cas were indeed a good pairing, and possibly the only two who could have called each other on their bullshit over the last few months.

I also loved Crowley saying he pities the fool who has Sam and Dean. Saying out loud that they are to a certain extent unkillable as far as the big bads of the Supernatural world go. He doesn't give praise and that was a bass-ackwards way of doing it, but he acknowledged out loud they are really very f*cking good at their jobs.

As for you, my dearest Ash, I love the rose tint I see this fandom, and fandom in general, through, but safe to say I've been in fandoms where my drive to participate has waned and eventually disappeared all together. It would be naive to think that no one ever wants to leave the SPN world, because it's been happening for years all around us.

My only sadness will be that if you do stop posting the reactions and also your Meta pieces, the fandom itself and I will be missing out on some truly intelligent pieces of writing with a depth to them that is somewhat lacking in other areas of this world we inhabit.

I know that if I ask to keep in contact, you'll do so, I hope anyway, so I'm not afraid to lose you as a great person in my life, but the fandom will be missing a part it won't be able to replace.

Thank you for being here when I finally came out into the SPN light, and for being such a good influence on my confidence in the fandom. You will always have a place in *my* fandom and my heart :) ♥


Edited at 2017-01-28 12:09 pm (UTC)
29th-Jan-2017 08:21 am (UTC)
Hi honey!

Firstly, thank you for your very kind words. It's moments like these I think there's no way I could ever leave fandom! And chances are I'll always be around while the show is. :) It's been weird not making vids or creating stuff for fandom over the last year - but maybe the chats about the show will be a way to keep my hand in. :)

*hugs*

As for the ep - I did mean to mention Crowley. I think he was very observant about the boys. And honest. I also like that he didn't offer to help save them - it makes sense for his character. And he knows that somehow they'll come out of it alive (as did we - though I was still worried about how they were going to achieve it!).

29th-Jan-2017 03:30 pm (UTC)
If you stay then you'll have a guaranteed readership here :) *waves* (please stay)

I wondered too, tbh, I mean they were in what seemed like a complete futile unsolvable situation. As always it's a credit to the show that I completely believed the way in which they resolved that issue.
28th-Jan-2017 01:13 pm (UTC)

Can I just start my reply by saying that coincidentally I was checking out your blog looking for your reaction to this episode and did read a ton of your meta links because we so often agree on the boys and then when I jump on livejournal I see your reaction post and :-) :-)
I truly enjoyed this episode I'm actually about to rewatch it now.  They did a great job letting us know that something else was going on, it was subtle, for thecwriters lol.... I was waiting the entire episode 4 the big reveal and then we come to find out that Dean made the deal with Billy at how easily they got out of the facility that place is like would be extremely well guarded along with cameras and live feed helicopters and all sorts of extra big brother type security but of course the boys needed out of that place.
Shallow me  could have easily watched Sam and Dean hunting and being their bad ass selves.... I cannot wait for all the hurt Comfort fics of the boys mental state during the six weeks tiny cell cuz that was pretty damn harsh....

29th-Jan-2017 08:26 am (UTC)
Hi!

It's funny - I almost didn't post something, but when I got typing I found there were a few things I wanted to say. I always like it when an episode has good stuff to ponder.

They did a great job letting us know that something else was going on, it was subtle, for thecwriters lol.

Indeed. We knew something had to be going on and the little comments they made ("it's nearly midnight" etc ) were just enough. I figured Billie was involved - but I wasn't sure how until the end.

Shallow me could have easily watched Sam and Dean hunting and being their bad ass selves

I could watch a whole episode of just that! I loved seeing them on the run - and smart.

I cannot wait for all the hurt Comfort fics of the boys mental state during the six weeks tiny cell cuz that was pretty damn harsh....

It must have been extremely tough for them. It's a shame that wasn't addressed, but then we do have fic for that. :))

28th-Jan-2017 01:22 pm (UTC)
I just hope you stay hanging around here chatting about whatever floats your boat because the show is just the coat rack we hang our friendships on. We don't have to talk SPN all the time - come tell us how your hubby's bar is doing, how life's treating you these days, rant about politics. This is a journal, after all.

Back to SPN "I LOVED BILLIE! Though I actually think she'll be back - along with Death (as least I hope so)." ME TOO!!!

I totally enjoyed this one - not that much handwaving really, and BAMF boys were a joy to behold.
29th-Jan-2017 08:28 am (UTC)
This is a journal, after all.

True! I do sometimes forget that. I only really think of LJ for fandom stuff but it is available for any kinds of posts. :)

not that much handwaving really, and BAMF boys were a joy to behold.

Word! Give me ALL THE BAMF boys!!

xx
28th-Jan-2017 01:44 pm (UTC)

"...I totally believed Mary was going to kill herself to save her boys (because I think this is probably how she'll be killed off when they do it) ..." Same! For a split second I thought, "okay, this is it." And I totally believe it's a foreshadowing for how they'll eventually get rid of her, since she has to die sometime. Or maybe she'll meet a Sam for her Dean and ride off into the sunset with him (or her). That would be cool. I find Mary so fascinating for all the reasons you point out here, although she frustrated the hell out of me in this episode. Moping around the bunker and teaming up with the Bmol? Oh dear.

29th-Jan-2017 08:30 am (UTC)
Yeah - her teaming up with the BMoL is seriously a bad move. I'm hoping she's working a way to get back at them - but I'm not sure. I think she's deliberately set up to be frustrating - it's creating some drama and tension. I hope she eventually finds some peace (and riding off into he sunset with someone would be awesome).
28th-Jan-2017 05:51 pm (UTC)
I absolutely LOVED this episode. I thought the editing and directing were especially great, and of course, Sam&Dean. <3
29th-Jan-2017 08:31 am (UTC)
Agreed! Editing and direction was top notch. Also thought the acting was pretty damn solid too :))
28th-Jan-2017 08:13 pm (UTC)
You caught me on what is for me a bad day for words. All I can think to say is, "I know," and "You must do what feels right for you," and "Don't go." I have skills, and ordinarily I'd make it more coherent and linear, but today is not that day.

I agree with your assessment of the episode. I've been cautiously joyful this season, but I'm watching the corners of the rug for grabby hands.

29th-Jan-2017 08:32 am (UTC)
but I'm watching the corners of the rug for grabby hands.


Ooh, I love this expression. :) I'm always wary of were they're going to go. I've been so hurt and disappointed in the past...
28th-Jan-2017 09:47 pm (UTC)
I LOVED Sam and Dean being so badass!

I loved the subtle acting showing how Dean and Sam were affected differently by the isolation.

What do you think was going through Dean's head that made isolation worse than being in hell???

I will always appreciate whenever you have thoughts to share...on SPN and real life!
29th-Jan-2017 08:38 am (UTC)
What do you think was going through Dean's head that made isolation worse than being in hell???

Good question. When he stated it was worse than hell I was intitlaly thinking...whhaaat?! Nothing could be worse than that! But in hell Dean was either fighting torture or administrating it. He was busy - he wasn't alone with his thoughts. He was active. For Dean to have absolutely nothing to do - and be alone with his thoughts, would have been driving him slowly insane. He probably spent a lot of the time thinking about his failures.

I don't think it would have affected Sam the same way. Sam's time in the cage would have probably been long periods of nothingness - so he's learned how to deal with that. And I see Sam as much more comfortable in his own mind than Dean (though it would have eventually gotten to him to). It's telling that Dean was the one to approach Billie and not Sam.

I will always appreciate whenever you have thoughts to share...on SPN and real life!

Thanks! Actually, it's great the show is back. I have missed chatting about it. :)
29th-Jan-2017 07:53 am (UTC)
Haven't watched yet but I will. Looking for little bits of joy where joy can still be found. Glad to see your recap. (((hugs)))

(would love to find you on twitter!)
29th-Jan-2017 08:40 am (UTC)
Finding joy (in the increasingly joyless state of things) is important. Luckily our boys can still do that for us. :)

I'm ash48spn on twitter:

https://twitter.com/Ash48SPN

I don't tweet a lot, but I check there often. Most tweest are political - and not happy political (if there's such a thing). Trump is hugely disturbing and I will often comment or retweet stuff about that. Sometimes it's fandom stuff! :D
29th-Jan-2017 08:57 pm (UTC)
I also thought it was a substantial cut above as an episode.

how fabulous (and refreshing) to see them being such competent hunters. I think my favourite thing this season has been seeing them work together so seamlessly.

So very true. And I rather understand Castiel's vehemence. If he can't believe in Sam and Dean then everything he's done (and so much of what's happened has been a result of his actions) and all that he's become is for nothing. It rather reminds me of Diego Luna's character in Rogue One.

I also think it's interesting what they're doing with Mary's character, especially because Dean always saw her as an angel, Sam as a cypher, and John mythologized her (when he spoke of her at all). And, of course, Samuel never knew her as a mother at all. She is much more real.

It makes me wonder if they'll bring back someone else next season and delve into them. Last season it was Chuck, this season it's Mary. There are a lot of characters that were given short shrift that they could rehabilitate (writing-wise).

I'm assuming that Cas' actions are going to have consequences -- I can't imagine breaking a deal with a Reaper is really that easy. And yes, their breakout was rather easy but I would agree that a secret facility needs to have a minimum number of people assigned to it. They can't have all their staff blindfolded when they come to work like the coroner!

Speaking of political statements, I thought that their confinement was itself one. Dean and Sam have been tortured plenty during the series. I like that the simple fact of putting them in solitary was indeed effective. Aside from contradicting the torture enthusiasts among the voting populace (especially as there's plenty of evidence it does more harm than good and isn't particularly useful), it also makes a statement about the appallingly common use of long-term solitary confinement in U.S. prisons. There are quite a few people kept that way far longer than the Winchesters were.
30th-Jan-2017 11:14 am (UTC)
It makes me wonder if they'll bring back someone else next season and delve into them

John would be the most interesting choice I think. I doubt JDM would be available (though he has expressed an interest) but there's a huge story to uncover there I suspect. And how amazing would it be to have the 3 (or 4!) of them work together. Maybe it's one way they could end the show. I definitely think we will see John again before the show ends.

The torture aspect was interesting (both politically and for Sam and Dean)- and actually, I felt like there were a few political nods in that episode. I'm not sure if it's because I'm sensitive to it at the moment, but it felt like there were a few nods to the current situation in the US (possessed president anyone?).

And I couldn't click the link because I am appalled and disturbed by the idea of long-term solitary confinement in prison - especially when I read about the incarceration levels in the US. I can just imagine the abuse of the system - and of peoples' rights (people who have no voice). Eek, sorry - I forget to get off my soapbox sometimes.
31st-Jan-2017 04:30 pm (UTC)
Oh yes, I think the presidential storyline was definitely a nod given that the election was approaching as the season was being written. In fact, the direct connection they made between minor celebrity and presidential aspirations seemed pretty specific (even the daddy issues at the heart of it, though that is SO common it's more unusual to find a male character who doesn't suffer from it).

No worries about the soapbox, these are definitely the times for it. The link was more a list of resources for journalists regarding the issue but it's not difficult to find stories about actual cases.

I agree that some sort of family resolution in the end would make a lot of sense (and it was, after all, how they resolved Chuck and Amara's storyline). Given that SPN seems nowhere near the end, my first thought was Jessica but I don't know if they can get Adrienne Palicki at this point, especially for most of a season.
1st-Feb-2017 12:02 pm (UTC)
my first thought was Jessica but I don't know if they can get Adrienne Palicki at this point

Oooh Jessica. That would be very interesting (and so traumatic for Sam!). I can't see them doing it though - not just because getting Adrienne might be difficult - but because it would mean a past romantic Sam story line and after the disastrous "romance" with Amelia I'm not sure they'd willingly go there. Maybe? Hard to say - it would be SOOO interesting if they did though.
1st-Feb-2017 04:13 pm (UTC)
Well, Jessica might be seen differently than Amelia given her origins. I think a lot of hate for Amelia came because people thought Sam should be searching for Dean. And Jessica's made re-appearances a few times already which I think have been fairly well received.

Of course, the real Jessica might be as much of a surprise as the real Mary. And it's not like Dean had any relationship with her before but obviously has affection for her simply due to Sam. So yeah, I think it could be quite interesting to see but I really doubt it would happen.
29th-Jan-2017 11:10 pm (UTC)
I am so happy you posted! I really miss you around here, your vids, your takes on the episodes, and that night we commiserated about Jared's breakdown.

I know the fandom fading thing all too well. It's how I've felt about SPN for a long time. I look back a few years and I was writing fic like crazy and taking on cracky Big Bangs. And now I have nothing to say. Season 10 pretty much wrecked it for me. I'm still a bit surprised at how into Season 9 I was!

And I'll always have that wonderful vid you made for me. No words.

I am parsing out my time on Twitter. I got a Mozilla ad-on called Leechblock. You can set it to only let you see certain sites at certain times--unless you disable it. Right now, it's set for 11 AM and 8 PM, and shuts down after 20 minutes. I'll probably reset for 30 minutes. The world is such a horrible place these days I can hardly stand it.
30th-Jan-2017 11:30 am (UTC)
Hi hun! I'm happy I posted too. To be honest I wasn't sure how I'd be chatting abut the show (thought my interest was waning) but it's been fun!

Season 10 pretty much wrecked it for me. I'm still a bit surprised at how into Season 9 I was!

Ha! Me too. S9 was the worse for me but I spent the whole season talking about it. But it really sapped my enjoyment. S10 & S11 compounded it. S12 has lifted my spirits - though I've become less, I suppose, passionate. Maybe it just hasn't given me anything to rage about - which is a good thing. :)

The twitter block sounds interesting. I've been able to scroll through but not comment or tweet as much as I used to. I find it fascinating (I liken it to reading a gossip mag), but it's so important to be able to put it down. I stop myself SO MANY TIMES from tweeting. It's just not worth the heartache and angst. Also, real life is much more rewarding and fulfilling (well, mostly...*g*)

*hugs* :D

1st-Feb-2017 06:53 pm (UTC)
((hugs back)) Thanks, sweetie!
30th-Jan-2017 05:50 pm (UTC)
I really really enjoyed this episode too! The badass boys, and the feel of 'something a bit different' - it held my attention throughout!!! I too loved Cas and Mary's interaction, and Cas's speech at the end was very powerful, and it felt to me like maybe we might see him paying the ultimate price for the Winchesters (maybe to escape this deal?)

I was gutted to see Billie go, and was actually surprised that she went and Mary didn't (because like you say, I figure she will end up doing this for her boys at some point!) If Billie is really gone, I hope they replace her with someone just as badass (or maybe Death!!!)

I hope that you know that I'll miss you, but I understand that you need to take a step back. But I hope that you'll pop over sometimes with a little note, or reaction to an ep if you feel you want to. Either way, keep in touch ♥
1st-Feb-2017 12:09 pm (UTC)
Hi!

I can't see myself every staying away permanently (well, maybe once the show has finished *g*), I just feel a bit more detached than I used to.

and it felt to me like maybe we might see him paying the ultimate price for the Winchesters (maybe to escape this deal?)

Oooh. Sounds interesting. I actually would love to see Cas make some sort of ultimate sacrifice for Sam and Dean - especially after what he's done to them in the past (yep, still bitter about Sam's wall coming down...;/). I can't see them killing him off just yet though (but it would be a great way to go). I hope they do have the guts to have some sort of powerful ending for Cas though.

I'd love to see Death (and Billie!) back. :D

31st-Jan-2017 09:53 am (UTC)
What I liked about this episode was the outsider POV of them with their rap sheet looking so horrific and beyond the understanding of the officials.
1st-Feb-2017 12:12 pm (UTC)
I always love eps with outsider POV. It's why I loved this season's "Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox" - so much good POV. :) Looking back on their rap sheet reminded me of the very early seasons when Victor was after them. A great way to tie their past with the present.
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