The great thing about Show being on Wednesday nights is that I have the evening to myself. Which means I can watch and post a insta!reaction straight after. Thank god because I was busting to get this out...
I have SO MUCH LOVE for that episode that I just don't even know where to put it all. I'm thinking I might be the only one holding this much love but... DAMN! that felt good. I loved it! LOVED. IT!
IT WAS ALL SAM AND DEAN!!! That! That right there. It was ALL THEM. No other characters. No demons or angels. No major myth arc drawing them away. It was THEM! THEM in a motel room. THEM in the Impala. THEM working a case and HAVING ISSUES! Fuck yeah! (If you're not sure what it is that I love about this show then you do now! It's THEM!)
That's not to say I don't love other characters - I mostly do. But damn, it was SO lovely to just have them. Lots of scenes with them and lots and lots of underlying issues between them and LOTS AND LOTS of subtext. <33
This Dean and This Sam. I dunno why but I connected with both of them so much during that episode. I fell in love with this Dean many, many years ago. The one who wanted nothing but a hunt, his car and Sam by his side (HE EVEN SAID THAT!) And yeah I know - I can already hear people say "but we've already had that". But I don't care. Give me confident, capable, enthusiastic, kick-ass Dean any day. I know Jensen does angsty, near-suicidal, tired, alcoholic Dean extremely well but I do love this invigorated Dean. And I think they are clever to bring him back like this.
The brothers are counterparts to each other. When one wants to hunt the other doesn't and visa versa. Now it's Sam's turn to want to give it all in (and before you all shout "again" - the only other time has been when the series started and just before Free to be You and Me. Other than that he has stuck to it. After everything and I mean EVERYTHING that Sam has been though I can TOTALLY understand him wanting normal again. After 8 years (though more if you add hell years). Dean has voiced wanting out and it all to be over as well. Possibly more).
And God did I feel for Sam in this. What I LOVED is that it was clear that Sam did not want to do this hunt, but he did. He did for his brother. He even did it well. He sucked it up because that's what he does for Dean. But he doesn't want it and you know what? I UNDERSTAND WHY! Why the hell would he want the misery and the pain and the danger and the nomad existence? (and you can't tell me it's ok to want all that as long as he has his brother by his side. I just don't buy it. He can not want all that and still want his brother around). He's experienced what it's like without all that and it's BETTER! He's been a hero. He's saved the world. He's had enough. (Oh god. Is it bad that I want that for him now? I know he can't and won't because there wouldn't be a show, but damn. I felt for Sam so much).
Both Jared and Jensen sold me so completely on their characters tonight.
You know what else? There was so much care in this episode. It was beautifully handled and wonderfully shot. Jensen knows this stuff now and he knows these characters. Nothing felt throwaway. Both actors seemed so...um... ON. I wonder if it's because this was the first episode shot after a long holiday?
But the clincher for me was epic love between Sam and Dean. You saw that yeah? You know how the MotWs are often reflections of the state of the brothers relationship? This one was no exception. This: (OH GOD THIS!!!!)
Betsy: But by that time Brick himself had changed. Inside. He wasn't just the warrior whose only reason for living was combat. We were deeply, deeply in love.
thenI am so tired. You can't imagine the burden of it all.
I know I might be grasping here but all through her speech I felt like she was talking about Sam and Dean and their current situation. Dean as the warrior who loves his brother more that anything (and yep..that's even without the wincest goggles on) and Sam the one tired from the burden of it all. It's both beautiful and painful.
I seriously did this little sigh after that scene.
I have been so concerned that they would make Sam look like some heartless bastard (thanks for that Jared *g*), but I have never felt his need for some sort of normality more so than after this. And I know, I KNOW it's dragging up the past but why not?! Why can't he still want that AND still love his brother. Which he does. More than anything. It's as clear as daylight. Someone can love someone but not want what they want.
I wasn't around in the first season but I believe Sam copped a lot of flack from fans because he wanted a normal life - that he left his family so he could pursue a normal life. That this somehow made him selfish. I figure he's gonna cop it again (sadly). But I just don't see it. I just don't see why wanting this again makes him anything but a tragic hero. He's not going to get it. We know that. And that's what makes it even sadder. (but yay! emotion! I actually shed a wee tear at the end. Never had a birthday cake...*weeps*). I do not see this Sam as weak or selfish or any less the god damn hero that he is. In fact, I see him even stronger for admitting it, after all this time.
And I know... Dean is back to wanting Sam in the game and can't understand why he doesn't want it. It's definitely a mirror to season 1. But I DON'T CARE! If they want to mirror season 1 and explore how they would act differently to it all now then that's fine with me. If an episode can have this much heart in it then I'm damn happy with that.
We also had lots of in the car conversations. THANK YOU! Each time they were in the car and started to chat I was like... on god. We are actually going to get them talking in the car like they used to. And it wasn't all prissy angst. It was both of them on different pages (once again) but neither of them was really getting all pissy with the other. They've been here before. It's familiar and they seem to know what to do to keep the other one ok.
I feel like I could go on and on about this one. I am that BUZZED! But I'll stop and mention a couple of other things I liked.
HOW FINE DID JENSEN LOOK?! GOD DAMN! He needs to direct himself more often. I was very distracted. Especially in his white shirt. <33
Geeky!Dean (did I mention how much I love this Dean?!) God I love this Dean. (ok, so it's probably sad how much he wants to impress Sam but I kinda love that too).
Sam applied to university. I think I am going to officially die now. I can't WAIT to see how this plays out. (I just hope to God it's not throw away later on).
MOTEL ROOM DIVIDER!! Thank you show!! (I think that might even be The Floor Plan
by the door).
There's more love but I'll stop there for now. I'll probably pick out some pics later and swoon over it some more later. :DD
Oooh, but I have to say there was also Dean in peril and my heart went pitter pat because... damn. That was kinda hot.
My only negative was that it was a little anvilicious at times but damn it, I don't care. When isn't it?!
I have to admit that reading zimshan
before watching this might be the reason why I loved this so much. It didn't give us answers about why Sam didn't look for Dean as he stated in episode one but I found myself not needing answers. I already had them.
Oh show. Just when I think you are going to screw it all up you give me something like this to cling on to. Have I told you how much I love you lately?
Ok. So now you have to talk to me because I feel like I spent most of this post imagining all the reasons why no one liked this one. You know you can tell me - I never have an issue with peeps harshing my squee. :) (hee.. I'll probably answer with... "I know but... SamnDean!"