Log in

No account? Create an account
curled around these images
just enough to make us dangerous
12th-Jul-2013 10:52 am
Star gazing
For those who have been passed over because of the way they look. Interesting realisation by Dustin Hoffman when preparing for Tootsie.

I mostly love hearing actors talk about performing and Dustin is a very thoughtful actor. I thought his epiphany was very honest (and sadly true).
12th-Jul-2013 03:11 am (UTC)
yeah, i watched that the other day and was trying to explain it to my husband. now he thinks i'm beautiful, which is awesome, after 28 years he still thinks that, sincerely.

but yeah, i'm not extraordinary or anything like that, i'm not Jenifer Aniston or whoever else is currently beautiful. but yeah, that's wild. do guys think that? well at least Dustin did prior to his realization.

it made me think of all my girl friends in real life and i never really look for beauty or whatever, just that they have things in common with me. or even my customers, i think they are all cool and attractive.

interesting for sure!

Edited at 2013-07-12 03:12 am (UTC)
12th-Jul-2013 08:12 am (UTC)

That's lovely to hear about your husband. Mine is exactly the same. I'd say we are lucky to have those positive affirmations each day (I certainly know I am blessed by having him in my life). I chatted to my hubby about it too and whereas he says he wouldn't judge a person by the way they look he agrees that it does often occur - and more often than we probably think. For Dustin, I get the feeling that it was also a Hollywood thing. It felt like he'd made those judgements in his career - the film industry would be particularly brutal when it comes to looks. I think film Tootsie highlighted a lot of those issues also.

12th-Jul-2013 05:34 am (UTC)
Wow. Wow, wow wow.
12th-Jul-2013 08:13 am (UTC)
Yeah, that was my reaction when I first watched it. ;)
12th-Jul-2013 01:33 pm (UTC)
I had seen that before recently, but I'm *really* glad you thought to share it. It's worth seeing!
12th-Jul-2013 02:33 pm (UTC)
I only saw this this morning and it really moved me. I don't often share all the stuff I see outside of LJ, but this one just grabbed me.
12th-Jul-2013 03:40 pm (UTC)
I love that vid. I've seen in on tumblr before I think, but it's worth watching it a second and third and a forth time. I feel touched that he's still so affected by that experience, even years later. Everyone should watch this and think a little about how they see people. It happens often enough that some of us are overlooked, for dating or other things.
13th-Jul-2013 04:31 pm (UTC)

Yes. I think Dustin makes what we already know very personal and therefore makes it more poignant somehow. I think people most definitely can be overlooked because of their appearance - and often have to work extra hard to be noticed.
13th-Jul-2013 04:34 pm (UTC)
Oh I love Desert Island Discs. We often dl the BBC podcasts to listen to the. I will make sure we grab this one. Thank you.

I get the feeling that he might be talking about a specific person - or at least a very personal experience. I get the feeling there was a lot of soul searching done to give us that performance as Tootsie.
13th-Jul-2013 08:52 am (UTC)
It's interesting that it's taken a man talking about this to grab people's attention, but celebrities do wield great power over us whether we're aware of it or not.

As one of the 'invisibles' I find it notable and surprising by some comments where I've seen this posted, that there are many still are unaware of what goes on, I've struggled all my life with it and I've come to disregard men's opinions of me. I got to 40 and threw in the towel and became determined to just be the me I am. What hurts most is when it comes from other women and it does - a lot. After a while the constant "suggestions" on what I should be doing to myself have become less and less helpful and far more annoying and hurtful. You can only take so much before you realise it comes down to how I should spend copious amounts of cash and/or risk my life under a surgeon's hand just to make other people more comfortable in my presence. And that? That's some shit talking.

People come in all shapes and sizes, we don't all conform to society's narrow image of beauty - especially now, when so much can be fabricated in a surgery or photoshop gallery, it's becoming almost obligatory to "fix" yourself and be always young and beautiful - shame really.
13th-Jul-2013 04:55 pm (UTC)
It's interesting that it's taken a man talking about this to grab people's attention

Yes. I don't think he's saying anything that hasn't been said before or any thing new. I think what struck me was the way he said it. I think that deep, personal realization is more striking than the pure fact that good looking people have it easier in life.

And can I just say yes and thank you for your comments here. That pressure to be that narrow image is, I think, getting more and more heavy. I can't say with any certainty that that is true but from what I see my daughter being exposed to and what I see her "aspire" to is pretty frightening (because it's so unattainable). I often think I'm glad I'm not a teenager growing up now - the amount of on line images that they are bombarded with...

And yes...finding acceptance in yourself is one thing. Getting other people to accept that is another thing altogether.

13th-Jul-2013 02:48 pm (UTC)
That was nothing short of phenomenal. I'd never seen that clip before so I want to thank you so much for sharing it! Wow.

It's so prevalent in society (and not just in men) for people in any setting to gravitate towards the 'beautiful' folks and leave those who may not fit the mould in the corners - and I think this has made me even more aware of it.

I've always had a hard time taking compliments and I hated photographs of myself until very recently (something I'm getting slowly more used to thanks in some way to conventions from the past year and the photo ops I've purchased!) even though I modelled when I was in my late teens/early twenties but this small clip has helped even more. So eloquent. I owe you one for posting it! *hugs*

13th-Jul-2013 05:09 pm (UTC)
Hey hun. I posted this for the few that might not have seen it. :) I only saw it recently and it had quite an effect on me. I think his honesty struck home - not because of what he said, but the way he expressed his feelings on it. I'm not sure how many people actually experience that depth of knowledge about something. Sure, we know life is probably easier if you're attractive, but to actually understand what that actually means is something else. And what it means to those who struggle to be noticed...
14th-Jul-2013 05:13 pm (UTC)
I could've sworn I left a reply on this but . . . *kicks LJ*

I watched this with a male (possibly soon-to-be-ex) friend. When Dustin teared up onscreen, the first thing out of his mouth? "Real men don't act like that." Dear God, I wanted to kick him so hard . . . but restrained myself to questioning his comment. His response? "Men don't want to waste their time with dogs." >:(

And I fear that most men share EXACTLY that viewpoint. If a woman's not blonde, big-titted, and gorgeous, she might as well not even exist.

Bravo on Hoffman for figuring it out.

Edited at 2013-07-14 05:14 pm (UTC)
16th-Jul-2013 01:42 pm (UTC)
Hey hun!

Oh wow - he really said that?! wow. It's so sad to actually have it confirmed like that. Even though we know it's true in society it's hard to actually hear it coming out of someone's mouth...:(

14th-Jul-2013 07:28 pm (UTC)
Thanks for sharing this. It sparked a long conversation with my son and daughter on the topic of the messages that are out there, and the perceptions we barely notice in society. My Babe loves these type of conversations and it was good to get my son's opinions too!
16th-Jul-2013 01:38 pm (UTC)

I'm so glad it started a discussion. It's lovely to have these chats with our children I reckon. It's always interesting to understand their perceptions and what their experience (or opinion) is of it.
This page was loaded Feb 19th 2019, 2:53 am GMT.