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curled around these images
just enough to make us dangerous
a few things... 
15th-Jun-2014 10:00 pm
Sam with Heron
  • I'm blown away how quickly money was raised recently to keep the fabulous SuperWiki running. A new, dedicated server was required due to all the information on it and all the visitors it gets. The goal was $2223 and that was raised in 12 hours! It's now on $3,625! The additional funds will go to the future running costs. There's still 33 days to go and I'm sure if you wanted to donate the money will be appreciated.

  • I've seen this posted on a number of journals. It's a lovely idea (SPN day of fandom love). Sad that we actually need to do something like this, but maybe drawing attention to how hurtful fandom wank can be, fans may think twice before being hurtful. Personally, I don't think "wank" is necessarily disagreeing with each other or having different views on the show. It's mostly about the way things are said.

  • Any of you into the Pacific Rim fandom? My darling friend and my long time vid beta _sharvie_ has made a Pacific Rim/Tron crossover AU vid! Incalculable, Unconditional. I was thrilled to be able to beta for her after all the years she beta'd for me.

I watched Scarecrow last night with zebra363. It's been a while since I watched a season 1 episode (though I did re-watch Devil's Trap a couple of weeks ago).

Something struck me:

Dean tells Sam "I'm proud of you" as a way of saying goodbye.

It's interesting looking back, that as early as 1.11 Dean was ready (and seemed able) to let Sam go. He was prepared to go on without Sam. He told him he was proud of Sam's strength and ability to go after what he wanted. He also used the same kind words of words to say goodbye that he did in 9.23. It's interesting that Dean seems to be in a place where he's not been able to be for a long, long time. I get that so much has happened to him (and between him and Sam) which has changed him over the series, but I wonder is his journey is about getting him back to the character he was in 1.11. That's not to say I want to see them separate, but maybe being able to separate might be a step forward (hee, or rather step back maybe).
18th-Jun-2014 03:25 am (UTC)
It's different from what he said in 1.11, because he's proud of "us". He's including himself in this, so it's not like he was letting go of Sam. Dean's journey isn't about him "getting back to the character he was in 1.11."

That's not to say I want to see them separate, but maybe being able to separate might be a step forward

I'm curious why you think that this is a step forward.

Oh, and I also like the SPN Day of Fandom Love... and I agree, it's the way that things are said.

Edited at 2014-06-18 03:32 am (UTC)
18th-Jun-2014 10:04 am (UTC)
I'm curious why you think that this is a step forward.

Because, unlike a lot of fandom, I don't consider their co-dependence very healthy. It's lead to some pretty awful behaviours by them both (to each other), so learning to let go seems to be a step forward as far as I am concerned. We've argued heaps about this and I know we differ very much on this aspect of their relationship. That's not to say I want them to be any less co-dependent, but there was a time when Dean was able to let go of Sam. He's lost that ability over the years and it's helped continue the Winchester cycle of sacrifice. Which is awesome for the show (and yay can't live without each other!) but I want to see Dean treating Sam like an equal again - being proud of him for what he's done and endured. Which I think the "I'm proud of us" was leaning toward. But I would loved it to have been "I'm proud of you for sticking with me when you could have easily walked away" (of course, Sam would never do that - but that was never addressed either). I have struggled massively with that statement, because in my books Dean doesn't have a lot to be proud of at the moment. Sure, he should be proud that somehow they've made it this far together, but until he acknowledges that he did the wrong thing in allowing Sam to be possessed without his consent that will all hang over me and this season. It still hurts truth be told. I am very disappointed that Dean died without some real reconciliation between the two of them. I am hoping that will come in S10. In fact, I actually think S10 will be able building real strength in their relationship. I hope!

Eek, sorry for the rant. I didn't mean too. I really don't think I have the energy to argue/discuss all this over again. ;/ I know we'll never see eye to eye on this.
28th-Jun-2014 04:13 pm (UTC)
I really don't think I have the energy to argue/discuss all this over again. ;/ I know we'll never see eye to eye on this.

Sorry that I'm late replying to this, hon. It sounded like you didn't want to talk to me about this, so I thought it was best to let it go. But now I've seen your latest post, and you're saying that you do want to discuss this topic. I'm not sure if this means that you'd like to discuss this with me again, or not. I was going to reply to your other post, and to your comment here, but I don't know if you want me to.

Edited at 2014-06-28 04:14 pm (UTC)
28th-Jun-2014 11:42 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry to give mixed messages. I suppose I mean I feel that we have had some very long and excellent discussions on the topic and I feel going over it again won't change anything. As you can see from my latest post I am still struggling with it all and to be honest I don't know what I'm looking for as an answer. I accept your version of the situation, but unfortunately that doesn't make me feel any better about Dean. I wish it did, because I think embracing that would help me I'm sure. But I can't. In all honesty I think I just have to move on (which I have been trying to do and failing miserably at!).
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